Talk:Taking This One to the Grave/@comment-1.126.42.141-20140831084044

GUIZ, I forgot to post my other master piece,

Considering I'm in year 4 my teachers ask me to write all types of weird fucking shit so I'm going to share some of my favourites with you, Here's my other master piece

While laying on your left side, gently insert the nozzle from the enema bag into your anus. The instructions with the bag will indicate how far to place the nozzle in your anus. Usually two to three inches is as far as it needs to go.

Open the clamp on the nozzle and let the water flow. The first time you take an enema, the water flowing is a rather odd experience. You become used to it after a few times.

As the water flows in, gently BUT FIRMLY, massage your abdomen where the colon is. This does two things. It helps to break up and release the M.E.S.S. as the water flows in. It also releases trapped air as the water flows in. As the water flows in, air is displaced.

Constantly massage your abdomen. If you have a transparent bag, turn on your back after 1/3 of the water has gone in. If you do not have a see-through bag you have to estimate when 1/3 of the water has gone in.

Continue to massage your abdomen while on your back. After another 1/3 of the water has gone in, turn on your right side.

Continue to massage your abdomen while on your right side. After all of the water has gone in, massage your abdomen while turning from your right side, to your back, to your left side.

Remember, the water is washing the inside of a dirty tube. You should try to let the water stay in you for 10 to 15 minutes. You may not be able to hold the water in that long. Often the urge to BM becomes urgent after the water has gone in.

When you stand up to BM, shake your stomach from side to side, back and forth, and round and round. You will hear the water sloshing inside you. Imagine a washing machine because that is what is happening inside. The more you can shake and slosh the water, the more cleaning you get, and the more M.E.S.S. you will break loose. Do not get too vigorous with the shaking if you are not in shape for it. I would not want you to throw your back out of kilter.

Some suggest that you should just lie there while the water is in you and move from the left side to your back, then to the right side. I don't think so. If you are trying to remove M.E.S.S., you need several things to speed it up.

You need a cleaning agent, (water and the lemon juice) and you need contact time. The longer the water is in contact with the M.E.S.S., the softer and easier to remove it gets.

You need mechanical action. Mechanical action is simply scrubbing. When you move and slosh the water, it scrubs. It is the same as a washing machine agitator. When you wash clothes you have a pre-soak cycle, but the sloshing is where the cleaning takes place. Lie there and pre-soak, but slosh to get the M.E.S.S. out.

You also need to slosh while lying down. Remember the colon is shaped like a horseshoe and you must make sure the water gets to the right side, not just the left side. While lying on your back, raise your hips and slosh. That will help the water get evenly distributed throughout the colon.

Hold the water for 10 to 15 minutes or for as long as you can if you can't hold it 10 to 15 minutes. After the time is up or either you can't hold the water any longer or until you shit yourself

Xoxo gossip gurl