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Pretty Little Liars Wiki
This is not a game to me. At all.
Spencer to Mona

Dead to Me is the eighteenth episode of Season 3 of Pretty Little Liars. It aired on February 5, 2013.



The girls have coffee at The Brew. Aria hasn't heard from Ezra since he left. Jason shows up and tells them that there will be a re-interment of Alison. She'll be placed in a mausoleum and he's arranged time for them to be with her after his mother. The stuff that was buried with her is still missing. Spencer angrily says that she has no interest in going and storms out.


Hanna tells Aria that she wants to get rid of their items from Alison's casket. Aria isn't so sure. Mona reminds Spencer that the decathlon is a week away and that she's been off her "A-game" recently. Mona says that she'd hate to see poor Toby drive out to cheer Spencer on, only to cheer for Mona instead. Caleb tells Hanna that the aunt who put him in foster care has left for Australia. He has the chance to stop by her place, his old house, before it's torn down, but he isn't interested.


Wesley drops by Ezra's and finds Aria there. Wesley tell Aria that Ezra told him he could stay there while he's away. He says his dorms are being fumigated. The PI reports back to Spencer. He's traced the A key to a part of town on the west side but needs more "encouragement" to find an exact address. Emily stops by the station to take a picture of the photo of Wilden in Cape May. Emily notices that the picture was taken down. Pam meets with her and pulls a postcard from Paris out of bag and Emily quickly says it's hers.


Emily tells Spencer about Wilden's picture being gone. She hands Spencer the postcard, which Emily had left in Alison's casket. It was one of 25 postcards left, which means "A" has many more chances to come after her. "A" wrote on the postcard in French: "Stop digging. The police already know it's you that's capable of murder." Hanna tells the girls that the girl Hanna saw Paige with at the lesbian bar works at a costume shop and is trying to help them figure out who bought the Queen of Hearts costume. Hanna asks Aria about Wesley, and whether or not he is cute. Aria says that he is. Hanna reveals that she has talked Caleb into going to his aunt's house.


Emily meets with Dr. Sullivan. She says "not talking isn't working." Emily is having trouble dealing with the fact that she killed somebody, even though it was in self-defense. Dr. Sullivan suggests hypnotherapy to help her reframe the problem that is controlling her life. Emily gets angry at first, as she can remember exactly what she did and that is the problem, but after Dr. Sullivan explains herself Emily agrees to it. Spencer goes through mementos of her relationship with Toby. She calls the PI and asks him how much more money he needs. He asks for $500 cash.


Caleb and Hanna look through the stuff at his aunt's place. He's not happy to be there and is being rude to his uncle. Jason asks Spencer why she's against seeing Alison. She says that he doesn't want to be asking her that since they'll just get in an argument. She says that she will win, and they will both end up feeling worse. She gets in her car and drives off. Caleb's uncle tells Hanna that he hasn't heard from Caleb's father and that he wasn't much of a guy. He says Caleb's mother deserved better. He says Caleb's father left because he needed a break and that he planned on coming back when he could handle being a dad. Unfortunately, life doesn't stop for anyone and coming back isn't as easy as it seems.


During Emily's hypnotherapy session Dr. Sullivan asks her what happened "that night", referring to the lighthouse. Emily repeats Dr. Sullivan's words ("that night") and draws attention to how ambiguous the question sounds. When Aria is at Ezra's place the phone rings. Wesley is reluctant. Aria tells him to answer it as it could be Ezra ("he knows you're here"). Wesley is forced to answer, but soon hangs up telling Aria that it is a wrong number. Emily says she sees "her." Dr. Sullivan assumes it is Paige but it is shown to be Alison. Alison says "we  shouldn't be here" and "it's dangerous" among other things. Under hypnosis, Emily grabs a shovel and hits a frightened Alison with it. She wakes up and leaves immediately. Hanna and Caleb leave the house. Caleb's uncle takes her aside and gives her a baby picture of Caleb at six months. He asks her to hang on to the picture until Caleb's ready to see it.


A frantic Emily returns home and tries to call Hanna. She stares at the Paris postcard and has a flashback: It's Emily and Alison talking about taking a trip to France. Their fingers touch as they look at the postcard and Alison proceeds to flirtatiously tell Emily how nice would she would look on the Eiffel Tower. When asked how long they would stay there, she says they should go away "forever." In present day, Pam comes home and Emily tells her mother that she's not sure what kind of person she is anymore. Pam reassures Emily that she is "all good".


The PI tells Spencer that the key goes to a unit in a small building on Mayflower Hill. Spencer tells him that the key will allow her to tell whether Toby kept a secret they had together. She is hoping what's behind that door will help her figure out whether Toby really loved her. A man named Kaplan approaches Wesley and threatens to bounce his head off the curb. Wesley hits him first and runs off with Aria. He says Kaplan is his physics teacher's husband. Back at Ezra's place Wesley tells Aria that he's had a tough time since Ezra left their house. Wesley was mad at him for leaving him behind with his family, and is now trying to get himself thrown out of prep school. Since his mother pays left and right to cover for his recently horrible grades, he resorted to hitting on his physics teacher. He also says that his mother's life is predictable, and the reason his mother hates Aria is because she's "unexpected."


Back at Hanna's place, Caleb says the trip was a waste of time. She shows him the baby picture and says she got it from his uncle. Hanna thinks the picture had been in his wallet and thinks the person holding him in the picture was also his uncle. She thinks his uncle knew him before he was five. He sniffles and says that he doesn't buy it. Mona stops by to see Dr. Sullivan with a housewarming present for her new office. She says that she could never hope to repay her for what she did.  Spencer opens the A key door and finds a completely empty apartment. She begins to weep. Hanna, Emily and Aria arrive at the mausoleum. Jason tells them that they shouldn't wait for Spencer as he doesn't think she's coming. At the very last minute she arrives. Jason assumes she has changed her mind, but she corrects him by saying that she only came because she was sure she could find him there. She tells Jason that Alison was pregnant when she died and the father was Wilden. Jason leaves, followed by the girls who are angry with her.


The other girls think something is really wrong with Spencer. They all agree that the way she is behaving is not proportional with what they think happened. Emily hears sprinklers and realizes that in her hypnotherapy session, she mixed up her memories. She flashes back to a night in the graveyard where a person in a black hoodie was trying to dig up Alison's grave and open her casket with a crowbar. There were sprinklers that night too. Emily was right behind them with a shovel in her right hand, desperately telling them not to do it. As Emily tried to stop them, she said exactly the same things she saw Alison say in her hypnosis session. The black-hooded person covers Emily's mouth with his or her hand while a woman in a red coat behind them watches and leaves. Emily says that she "is the one in charge."


Spencer stops at the grave of Marion Cavanaugh. She uses the A key to scratch "TOBY" into the marble. In the last scene we see "A" in a wine shop buying whiskey. The clerk asks for ID, and "A" proceeds to pull it out of their wallet, but we don't see it.


  • Caleb finds out that the home he grew up in is being torn down since his aunt is moving to Australia. He goes through stuff at the house with Hanna by his side and meets his uncle Jamie for the first time since he was little. It is implied through a photo his uncle gives Hanna as they left that he is really Caleb's father.
  • Dr. Anne Sullivan returns and treats Emily with hypnotherapy. Emily flashes back to her hitting Alison with a shovel on the night she died. Later, it is revealed that Emily mixed up her memories and she remembered seeing a member of the A-Team digging up Alison's grave as someone in a red coat looked on.
  • Ezra's brother Wesley returns. He has a run-in with his physics teacher's husband. Afterwards he reveals to Aria that he purposely tried to get suspended from his school by flirting with his physics teacher, and that he envies Ezra for walking away from his wealthy family to choose his own path in life.
  • Miles Corwin, the private investigator Spencer hired, provides some new information on what Toby has been up to lately. He tells Spencer where A's lair is at. When Spencer visits A's lair later in the episode, the place is empty.
  • Spencer reveals to Jason at the end of the episode that Alison was pregnant by Det. Wilden when she was murdered, despite the other Liars' attempt to stop her. She later defaces the crypt where Toby's mother's body is enshrined.
  • The quote written on Ali's crypt in the mausoleum says, "Unable are the Loved to die For love is Immortality." Hanna states how it sounds creepy, and Aria responds that it's Emily Dickinson.
  • For the first time since the beginning of the series, it is speculated that Alison may still be alive after Emily remembers that she saw a blonde woman wearing a red coat on the night when Alison's grave was dug up.
  • Marlene King's name is among other production crew members names in the mausoleum.


  • When Spencer finds about Toby being in the A-Team, He is now dead to her.
  • The title may also refer to what Spencer said to Alison in Season 1, Episode 15, If At First You Don't Succeed, Lie, Lie Again. Spencer to Alison: " Because it seems to me that it's not whether we will exist without you but whether you will exist without us. And as far as I'm concerned you are dead to me already."
  • Because of the title this episode seems to be the start of the "anger" stage of the grieving process for Spencer as she beings to act out such as vandalizing Toby's mother memorial.
  • The title might also be a reference to the memorial aspect of the episode.
  • Since it has been revealed that Spencer was the first to find out that Toby is A, the title could also mean that it was her who kept it a secret from the rest of the liars causing a rift between them.


  • It is revealed that Red Coat was with Emily "That Night".
  • Jason finds out that Alison was (possibly) pregnant before she died.
  • Spencer finds the second "A" lair, but it is empty.
  • It is hard to count the number of petals in an hydrangea, but the counts range from 4 to 600. (Because of the different types of hydrangeas) Note that these are even numbers, which means that Toby (possibly) didn't love her. 

Main Cast

Guest Cast

Featured Music

  • "Trying To Be Loved" by Pi Jacobs
  • "Without The One I Love" by Bellflower
  • "Burn" by Madi Diaz
  • "Gone" by Lianne La Havas
  • "Breaking Away" by Bosshouse Music


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Dead to Me has a photo gallery.


Spencer: Is she "Saint Ali" now? Are her bones holy relics or something?

Emily: Sometimes things look bad, and they're really not. Sometimes there's another explanation for what's going on.
Spencer: And what if that explanation is even worse?

Spencer: I open the door and if it's full of the things that I think it is, then it means that there's hope.

Mona to Dr. Sullivan: Oh, it's nothing. I could never really repay you for what you did.

On Alison's grave: Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality.

Hanna: Please tell me this is part of some brilliant Spencer plan.
Emily: It's not. She's just hurting and wants us to hurt just as bad.
Aria to Spencer: We're your friends. We're not your punching bags.

Hanna: Do you think it was Alison in the red coat?